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"Thunder Amulet"

Skapad av huntedapple, 2008-09-01 18:41 i Fritid

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Ja, nu har jag börjat skriva på min bok/novell vid namnet "Thunder Amulet", den är skriven på engelska och jag lägger upp prologen här. Ge kritik och säg saker som är bra/dåliga :)


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”Blood has always been in my interest. And today, blood will master the entire world of mortals!” The voice of the head shaman, Allormu, was echoing through the cave. Allormu skin was black. He had a helm in the model of an eagle. His suit was hanging down on the ground full with blood. In front of him was a dead man. Allormu's students, the novices, were standing in a ring around him. A fire was glowing. The sound from the waterfall blocking the entrance to the cave was killing the sound of breathing. No one said anything.

Allormu was focusing. His eyes were glowing red. He looked straight into the fire. He slowly moved his fingers, and the students were surprised to see the fire following it. He pointed at the water streaming down outside the cave. The fire streamed in a fast pace against the water. The water was turning into steam as the fire hit it. Allormu was expecting someone. Suddenly a bird flew straight into the cave. One of the students twitched to manage to dodge. But Allormu gave the frightened student a sign to not be afraid. The bird landed next to Allormu, first now the students saw it was an eagle. It slowly formed into a human.

“Greetings, Allormu”, The man said and bowed over.
“I see you were expecting me.”
“Indeed, Arth.” Allormu responded.
“I saw humans heading here on my way.”
“I know, they are a part of my plan.”
Allormu was calm, he knew what to do. He pulled his rusty knife with his bony fingers. He jumped out through the streaming water. They were high up in the air and the students were shocked. Suddenly great white rings smashed out through his suit and he flew above the trees. He located the small strike team. It was three knights, armed with steel swords and bows.

Their quivers were covered in cow skin, it was said that it was lucky. Allormu had always laughed at the ones that said it was lucky. He always said that luck never could save them from him. He threw his knife at one of the powerfully armored knights. The knife was rusty, but Allormu had power. He managed to make the knife glow and it slowly melted through the powerful armor. The knife hit the knight in the chest and he let out a scream of agony. The other knights stopped. They turned around, but didn't see anyone. The knight that was hit fell down on the ground, dead. Allormu passed their location, but flew back. When he passed the two knights he cast a spell. The spell burned one of them. His armor melted and he let out a powerful scream cutting through the ears of the other knight. The burning knight fell down on the ground and was slowly burned. He let out a last scream. The other knight got even more frightened. Allormu decided to give the knight a chance to see how mighty he was. He flew to the ground.

“Hello, Mr. Knight.” He said.
“Wh-wh-who are you?” The knight asked. He was slowly backing away from Allormu.
“I am the one that you were going to kill, but we can say that you failed. Can't we?” Allormu answered.
“Are you the shaman?”
“Yes, yes I am.”
“Then... Why are you here?”
“I don't really like people attacking me, do you? Because your death will be my revenge.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“It's called human greed, everyone wants money and might. I'm about to fulfill it.” Allormu's last words scared the knight even more. He tripped over a tree branch lying on the ground. Allormu approached him slowly. The knife he had used to kill the first knight was suddenly in his hand. The dagger was starting to glow.
“No... no... You don't want to do this!” The knight shouted out. Allormu started laughing sadistically. He pulled the knife up and then threw it into the chest of the last knight.

He turned around and to his surprise he saw several knights standing there. One of them had a bow pulled up. Allormu held his hand up as the arrow was thrown at him. The arrow stopped in the air. He spun his hand and the arrow turned around. Allormu laughed and made the arrow push into the young archers neck. He fell down on the ground and blood was spreading in the dirt. The other knights begun to charge him. Allormu threw himself under a sword (just as it was about to decapitate him) and threw an electric bolt into a knight. Suddenly he felt a burning pain. It was like someone had shot him with a burning arrow. He turned around and to his horror he saw that a silver colored sword had been pushed into his hip, and red blood was streaming out of the huge wound. One of the knights he thought was dead had managed to push their sword into him.

The blade of the sword was colored red of blood and Allormu fell down on the ground. A surviving knight walked up to the body. He pushed his blade into the chest of the elder shaman. A streak of blood slowly crawled over his chest and down on the ground. The amulet that Allormu was carrying was pulled away from his body and locked into a powerful chest. It was said that the amulet had the power to possess anyone with the power of Allormu, and his council.


Om ni inte fattade det ligger prologen i spoilern, den är skriven i font storlek 12 i Open Office.org 2.4 och var där lite mer än en sida, hoppas den är till behagande :)

Tillägg av HuntedApple 2008-09-01 18:42

Kan väl också varna om lite litterärt blod XD

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Svar till hobbytomte [Gå till post]:

Jag hoppas att den nya indelningen är till behagande, annars får jag väl fixa till den lite mer xP

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Svar till Fister [Gå till post]:

Men, han ska ju vara elak, annars finns det ingen story :O

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Svar till Hisoka [Gå till post]:

Ja, jag är ju en WoW-nörd XD
fast det är en prolog och de är oftast rakt på sak.

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Svar till Hisoka [Gå till post]:

Har ingen aning, har gjort kapitel 1 också. Kanske får upp den här. Prologen + Kapitel 1 = Runt 4 sidor. Så den blir väl inte så jättelångt men det beror på hur många kapitel också.

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Svar till TheCuntRockets [Gå till post]:

Ja, hade faktiskt lite problem med storyn och bara påtade ihop något >.< Ska fixa en annan story, helt annan och får se om jag kan få till den bättre.

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Svar till HuntedApple [Gå till post]:

Verkar bli en bra bok, vet dock inte vad echoing betyder o jag orkar inte googla men fan.
lycka till med boken

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Svar till anuus [Gå till post]:

Echoing betyder ekar, vet inte om det är riktigt men Open Office.org tyckte det var rätt så jag antar att det var det.

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Svar till HuntedApple [Gå till post]:

men jag skulle lita på office så det e nog så, säger det igen
lycka till med boken xD

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