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Storyline: Jay, a young apprentice to the Jedi Master TBD is training hard towards becoming a Jedi one day, as a padawan to TBD he has been training hard each day, towards the goal of a safe galaxy.
During his training Jay fell in love, despite it is against the Jedi code to fall in love. He did, with Sarah Vandro. She is a normal human, no connection to the force in her family.
"TBD" got to know this, and he talked to Sarah Vandro, about what could happen if they were discovered by the council members. This led Sarah to break up with Jay, all because of what TBD told her. Anger built up in Jay, he felt both hate and vengeance, which both leads to the dark side.
The absent of Sarah Vandro made it even worse, as he could never see her again, it just built up, until Jay was no more. But Darth Proditus was born..
Scene 1
Jay is training with his master, while they are having a discussion about the council. The training they are doing are with lightsabers.
Jedi Master Kintus: Jay, don’t be stupid, you shouldn’t be in such a rush! You are still only 18 years old you have your whole life in front of you!
Jay then thrusts his lightsaber towards Kintus he deflects it but Jay charges a force push that knocks him over to the ground.
Jay: (Kind of upset voice) I am more powerful than any Jedi! I should be on the council if someone should, they are just afraid of me!
As Kintus is lying on the ground.
Jedi Master Kintus: No Jay, we are not afraid of you, but of your inner conflict, there is hate, there is anger inside of you. You need to let go of those feelings. You do realize what hate and anger leads to don’t you?
Jay: I’m sorry Master, I have disrespected you, it will not happen again.
Jay throws his lightsaber away and walks off in a quick manner. Kintus proceeds to stand up and to pick Jay’s lightsaber up, looking towards Jay and giving away a sigh. The scene then switches
Scene 2
You see Sarah Vandro sitting by a tree, just looking around Jay comes in the shot, sitting down beside her. He uses his forcepowers to pull an apple nearby
Jay: (With a smile on his face) here you go, you look hungry.
Sarah looks down towards the apple, and then looks in to Jay’s eyes.
Sarah: Thank you.
Sarah: You know, I’ve been thinking about something.
Jay: What?
Sarah: I think I’m going to tell your Master about us, that we are together I think he will understand he can help us.
Jay: Help us with what? We are doing fine aren’t we?
Sarah: Are we? We are always hiding from everyone.
Jay: There is a reason for that.
Sarah: You keep saying that but you have never said why.
Jay: Just trust me, please?
Sarah: I trust you Jay it’s just that I hate all this secrecy
Jay: Promise me that you won’t tell him!
Sarah: I promise Jay.
Jay: I have to go, I got a trial tomorrow and I need to practice for it!
Jay hugs Sarah then walks off Sarah sits for a bit, looking down towards the ground, but then stands up and walks away. The scene then switches
Scene 3
Sarah meets up with Kintus, Jay’s master. They are where Jay was practicing earlier, same location as Kintus is preparing for tomorrows trials
Sarah: Kintus!
Jedi Master Kintus: To what do I owe the pleasure?
Sarah: We need to talk, it’s about me and Jay.
Jedi Master Kintus: What about you two?
Sarah: I and Jay have been together for quite some while, but he tells me we can’t tell anyone and I’m worried that he might be in some sort of trouble
Jedi Master Kintus: How long has this been going on? You do know that being in love is against the Jedi code don’t you?
Sarah: The what? No? Jay never spoke of it.
Jedi Master Kintus: Sarah, if you know what is good for you, then you will not continue this, it might get Jay expelled from the academy.
Sarah: He can get expelled from the academy for being with me?! (Sounds worried)
Jedi Master Kintus: Yes, we take love serious as it can lead a Jedi towards the dark side, and he would be lost forever.
Sarah: I can’t believe what I’m hearing, I have to.. I can’t lose him.. But… I can’t what should I do?! (Heavy breathing, worried voice)
Jedi Master Kintus: Let me talk to him, I’ll contact you when I and Jay have spoken.
Kintus rushes off. Sarah is walking around looking worried, and then the scene switches to the next.
Scene 4
Jay is standing near an edge, just looking out over the battlefields of the old times as Kintus walks up to him.
Jedi Master Kintus: Jay, why are you doing this?
Jay: Doing what exactly?
Jedi Master Kintus: Falling in love, getting in to a relationship, you know that it is against the Jedi code!
Jay: So she told you…
Jedi Master Kintus: She did the right thing, you shouldn’t be together, and you know what it leads to!
Jay: NO! I love Sarah, and that is how it will be, always. Nothing can stand in my way we will be together even if you don’t want us to! It doesn’t always have to be that way, I am different!
Jedi Master Kintus: Please don’t do this Jay you know how the council will react. We can’t risk it losing students to the dark side.
Jay begins to breathe heavily, he looks downwards to the ground, then up towards Kintus
Jay: (screams) No… I will be together with her forever she is mine, I LOVE HER!
Jay charges a force push that knocks Kintus off his feet, he activates his lightsaber and a fight emerges. While fighting Kintus yells
Jedi Master Kintus: Don’t do this Jay I know you. You wouldn’t do this! This isn’t you!
Kintus uses force push to throw Jay off his feet, losing his lightsaber.
Jedi Master Kintus: It’s over, I have the high ground, don’t make it any worse. You and Sarah are through, you are already becoming the thing you swore an oath to destroy, you are supposed to defeat the sith not join them!
Jay: Don’t make me hurt you…
Jedi Master Kintus: Don’t do it.
Jay charges a very powerful force push, it pushes Kintus far away, he loses his lightsaber, and Jay stands up, pulls his saber in to his hands then runs away.
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